yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize