I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
