Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
