i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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