508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
