Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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