Where is the hickey?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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