"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We're too hungover to prance.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
