You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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