People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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