he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
