erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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