he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
