I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
