so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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