Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
