Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
