Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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