God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
