I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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