census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
