What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
