Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
