Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
