HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
