i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
