This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
