You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Floor bacon is actually really good
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
