We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
