mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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