got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
