I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have demons in me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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