What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We just shotgunned beers for America
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
