I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
