i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
