Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
