That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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