brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
