my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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