Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think my nap took me to another dimension
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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