I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize