Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just threw up on my dentist
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize