It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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