god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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