I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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