no, he came in my armpit
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize