The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
