plz talk dirty to me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
