What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
