i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
