I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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