Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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