Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is classic penis vs brain.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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