ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
