My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
