Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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