my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
