I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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