We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
