Pappa wants mamma naked
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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