You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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