I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
