Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You're a waste of cheezeits
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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