She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
