is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
