I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
