Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
