I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
