i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
