So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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